no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
