I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
