the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
