In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
