I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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