I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
