Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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