her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
