dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
