Im at strip club and am horny
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
