Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dating After Heartbreak
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?