wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I am morally bankrupt
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
