Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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