found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
