I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize