Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
