if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
