so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
