mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
