I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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