After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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