Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
