i think my mom watched the whole time
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
