a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
