Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
