I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize