Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
