did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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