the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize