Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
