I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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