I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
