she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i drank out of a bidet.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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