so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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