So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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