I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
