i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
