i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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