Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
