We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
