How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i love accidental penises.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
