So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Randomize
