it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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