He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
