I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
