I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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