At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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