You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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