dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
