hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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