I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize