i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
