Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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