You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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