I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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