something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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