Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
