Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
